On the left is Sammy Sosa at an event back in December of last year. On the right is the same person at the Latin Grammy Awards in Las Vegas on Wednesday night. THE FUCK is right!

Sammy must have an explanation that makes some kind of sense. Either: a) This is Sammy’s idea of a Michael Jackson tribute. b) Sammy was attacked by a zombie and is well on his way to becoming one of them. c) Sammy has a skin condition. d) Sammy has straight-up lost his mind.

I’m tempted to go with D, because that explains why his eyes also look like they’ve been doused in bleach. I CAN’T!

You be the judge and the jury! Below are pictures of Sammy and his wife (who looks like a Khloe Kardashian/Gloria Estefan hybrid) at the Latin Grammys this past week. I also threw in some pictures of darker Sammy at a People event this past May.

On the left is Sammy Sosa at an event back in December of last year. On the right is the same person at the Latin Grammy Awards in Las Vegas on Wednesday night. THE FUCK is right!

Sammy must have an explanation that makes some kind of sense. Either: a) This is Sammy’s idea of a Michael Jackson tribute. b) Sammy was attacked by a zombie and is well on his way to becoming one of them. c) Sammy has a skin condition. d) Sammy has straight-up lost his mind.

I’m tempted to go with D, because that explains why his eyes also look like they’ve been doused in bleach. I CAN’T!

You be the judge and the jury! Below are pictures of Sammy and his wife (who looks like a Khloe Kardashian/Gloria Estefan hybrid) at the Latin Grammys this past week. I also threw in some pictures of darker Sammy at a People event this past May.

That’s what came out of Joe Perry’s sessy mouth. Joe, who is starting to look like a hot dude version of Colleen Williams, told The Las Vegas Sun that Steven Tyler is hanging up his scarf indefinitely. Aerosmith recently got back from a show in Abu Dhabi, and as far as Joe Perry knows Steven Tyler isn’t going to be shaking his bones on stage anymore.

Joe said, “Steven quit as far as I can tell. I don’t know anymore than you do about it. I got off the plane two nights ago. I saw online that Steven said that he was going to leave the band. I don’t know for how long, indefinitely or whatever. Other than that, I don’t know.”

Joe has tried calling Steven to get the real story, but dude isn’t even trying to pick up the phone, “He’s notorious for that. That’s one thing I’ve learned to live with. I try to overlook it. I like to pick my battles. Frankly, the last few months I’ve been wanting not to rock the boat. I don’t want him canceling any more gigs. We really wanted to do these last four. We just kind of didn’t want to call him out or anything and get him anymore pissed off, for whatever reason. So we just let things lie. So we did the gigs and, like I said, I got off the plane and saw this online. That’s how I know about it.”

If Steven has quit that bitch, Joe says they will bring in a replacement (SIT DOWN, Janice Dickinson) and the show will go on, “As far as replacing Steve, it’s not just about that, it’s also four guys that play extremely well together, and I’m not going to see that go to waste. I really don’t know what path it’s going to take at this point, but we’ll probably find somebody else that will sing in those spots where we need a singer and then we’ll be able to move the Aerosmith up a notch, move the vibe up a notch.”

Steven Tyler performed at the launch party for the pyramids in Egypt, so it might be time for him to spend his days lying in his Golden Rest bed with a bag of caramel squares in his lap and Matlock on the tube.

That being said, STEVEN TYLER CANNOT BE REPLACED. There’s not a zombie in Zombieland that can hustle like he can. Well…..unless Larry King knows the words to “F.I.N.E.”

That’s what came out of Joe Perry’s sessy mouth. Joe, who is starting to look like a hot dude version of Colleen Williams, told The Las Vegas Sun that Steven Tyler is hanging up his scarf indefinitely. Aerosmith recently got back from a show in Abu Dhabi, and as far as Joe Perry knows Steven Tyler isn’t going to be shaking his bones on stage anymore.

Joe said, “Steven quit as far as I can tell. I don’t know anymore than you do about it. I got off the plane two nights ago. I saw online that Steven said that he was going to leave the band. I don’t know for how long, indefinitely or whatever. Other than that, I don’t know.”

Joe has tried calling Steven to get the real story, but dude isn’t even trying to pick up the phone, “He’s notorious for that. That’s one thing I’ve learned to live with. I try to overlook it. I like to pick my battles. Frankly, the last few months I’ve been wanting not to rock the boat. I don’t want him canceling any more gigs. We really wanted to do these last four. We just kind of didn’t want to call him out or anything and get him anymore pissed off, for whatever reason. So we just let things lie. So we did the gigs and, like I said, I got off the plane and saw this online. That’s how I know about it.”

If Steven has quit that bitch, Joe says they will bring in a replacement (SIT DOWN, Janice Dickinson) and the show will go on, “As far as replacing Steve, it’s not just about that, it’s also four guys that play extremely well together, and I’m not going to see that go to waste. I really don’t know what path it’s going to take at this point, but we’ll probably find somebody else that will sing in those spots where we need a singer and then we’ll be able to move the Aerosmith up a notch, move the vibe up a notch.”

Steven Tyler performed at the launch party for the pyramids in Egypt, so it might be time for him to spend his days lying in his Golden Rest bed with a bag of caramel squares in his lap and Matlock on the tube.

That being said, STEVEN TYLER CANNOT BE REPLACED. There’s not a zombie in Zombieland that can hustle like he can. Well…..unless Larry King knows the words to “F.I.N.E.”

Judy Tenuta (53)
Joni Mitchell (66)
Mark Philippoussis (33)
Melyssa Ford (33)
Yunjin Kim (36)
Jason London (37)
Jeremy London (37)
Morgan Spurlock (39)
Michelle Clunie (40)
Sharleen Spiteri (42)
Christopher Knight (52)
Barry Newman (71)
Judy Parfitt (74)

Judy Tenuta (53)
Joni Mitchell (66)
Mark Philippoussis (33)
Melyssa Ford (33)
Yunjin Kim (36)
Jason London (37)
Jeremy London (37)
Morgan Spurlock (39)
Michelle Clunie (40)
Sharleen Spiteri (42)
Christopher Knight (52)
Barry Newman (71)
Judy Parfitt (74)

Before you click play on the clip above, you should be warned that Miley Cyrus’ voice can scrape off several layers of finish in just a few seconds, so you better move all your favorite pieces of wood furniture out of the room.

In Miley’s song “Party in the USA,” she screeches about hearing a Jay-Z song on the radio. So during an interview on Halloween night in Kentucky, she was asked what her favorite Jay-Z song is (at the 2:50 mark). Miley’s answer? “Ah’ve nevah heard a Jay-Z song.” She didn’t write that song and only chose it because it went with her clothing line. Then Miley goes on to say that she doesn’t listen to pop music. A few beats later, she chirps something about Britney Spears. Then she starts yammering about Janis Joplin…..

And then Jay-Z, Janis Joplin and Brit Brit busted in there to flick her in the teefs. Seriously, I think I saw two of her brain cells bust out of her ear holes. Were we all like that when we were her age (SPOILER ALERT: The answer is no)? No wonder we boozed until the toilet called mercy.

In 50 years, Miley will still be sitting on a folding chair backstage somewhere in Kentucky wearing a trampy Pocahontas outfit and terrorizing little kids. Except she’ll have a ciggie hanging out of her mouth and a giant DRANK in her hand. Yes, Miley will totally be THAT Bingo lady.

VIA NY Mag’s Vulture

Before you click play on the clip above, you should be warned that Miley Cyrus’ voice can scrape off several layers of finish in just a few seconds, so you better move all your favorite pieces of wood furniture out of the room.

In Miley’s song “Party in the USA,” she screeches about hearing a Jay-Z song on the radio. So during an interview on Halloween night in Kentucky, she was asked what her favorite Jay-Z song is (at the 2:50 mark). Miley’s answer? “Ah’ve nevah heard a Jay-Z song.” She didn’t write that song and only chose it because it went with her clothing line. Then Miley goes on to say that she doesn’t listen to pop music. A few beats later, she chirps something about Britney Spears. Then she starts yammering about Janis Joplin…..

And then Jay-Z, Janis Joplin and Brit Brit busted in there to flick her in the teefs. Seriously, I think I saw two of her brain cells bust out of her ear holes. Were we all like that when we were her age (SPOILER ALERT: The answer is no)? No wonder we boozed until the toilet called mercy.

In 50 years, Miley will still be sitting on a folding chair backstage somewhere in Kentucky wearing a trampy Pocahontas outfit and terrorizing little kids. Except she’ll have a ciggie hanging out of her mouth and a giant DRANK in her hand. Yes, Miley will totally be THAT Bingo lady.

VIA NY Mag’s Vulture

Before you click play on the clip above, you should be warned that Miley Cyrus’ voice can scrape off several layers of finish in just a few seconds, so you better move all your favorite pieces of wood furniture out of the room.

In Miley’s song “Party in the USA,” she screeches about hearing a Jay-Z song on the radio. So during an interview on Halloween night in Kentucky, she was asked what her favorite Jay-Z song is (at the 2:50 mark). Miley’s answer? “Ah’ve nevah heard a Jay-Z song.” She didn’t write that song and only chose it because it went with her clothing line. Then Miley goes on to say that she doesn’t listen to pop music. A few beats later, she chirps something about Britney Spears. Then she starts yammering about Janis Joplin…..

And then Jay-Z, Janis Joplin and Brit Brit busted in there to flick her in the teefs. Seriously, I think I saw two of her brain cells bust out of her ear holes. Were we all like that when we were her age (SPOILER ALERT: The answer is no)? No wonder we boozed until the toilet called mercy.

In 50 years, Miley will still be sitting on a folding chair backstage somewhere in Kentucky wearing a trampy Pocahontas outfit and terrorizing little kids. Except she’ll have a ciggie hanging out of her mouth and a giant DRANK in her hand. Yes, Miley will totally be THAT Bingo lady.

VIA NY Mag’s Vulture

Before you click play on the clip above, you should be warned that Miley Cyrus’ voice can scrape off several layers of finish in just a few seconds, so you better move all your favorite pieces of wood furniture out of the room.

In Miley’s song “Party in the USA,” she screeches about hearing a Jay-Z song on the radio. So during an interview on Halloween night in Kentucky, she was asked what her favorite Jay-Z song is (at the 2:50 mark). Miley’s answer? “Ah’ve nevah heard a Jay-Z song.” She didn’t write that song and only chose it because it went with her clothing line. Then Miley goes on to say that she doesn’t listen to pop music. A few beats later, she chirps something about Britney Spears. Then she starts yammering about Janis Joplin…..

And then Jay-Z, Janis Joplin and Brit Brit busted in there to flick her in the teefs. Seriously, I think I saw two of her brain cells bust out of her ear holes. Were we all like that when we were her age (SPOILER ALERT: The answer is no)? No wonder we boozed until the toilet called mercy.

In 50 years, Miley will still be sitting on a folding chair backstage somewhere in Kentucky wearing a trampy Pocahontas outfit and terrorizing little kids. Except she’ll have a ciggie hanging out of her mouth and a giant DRANK in her hand. Yes, Miley will totally be THAT Bingo lady.

VIA NY Mag’s Vulture