Justin Timberlake should stop accepting rides in Chris Brown’s Lamborghini, and Alien Princess RiRi should keep Betty Ross at her side at all times, because She-Hulk Biel and Ike Turner II won’t be happy when they see Star Magazine’s cover.

According to Star, Justin started scooting his ass lips on RiRi’s infintiyhead of wonder at an after-party for the VMAs a couple of weeks ago. RiRi must not have minded that Justin sounds like Minnie Mouse screaming when he orgasms, because they have been texting and talking ever since. But before RiRi takes Justin to her home planet, she wants to make sure that his gay relationship with Jessica Biel is over. A source said, “She asked him on the phone, ‘Are you still with Jessica?’ And he hinted that things were cooling off between them.”

The source went on to say that Jessica found out that Justin and RiRi bumped taints and is “a wreck” because of it.

You know, it might be the apple I just ate (healthy food fucks me up) talking, but I actually think RiRi and Justin make a hot couple. They kind of make sense to me.

And Jessica Biel really deserves better. She deserves a man who won’t scream like a toddler when she accidentally breaks his boner during a handjob. Or won’t cry a million tears when she beats his no-no with her 9-incher. Seriously, Jessica, get yourself a real bitch who can take it! When Khloe Kardashian’s fake marriage blows up, Jessica should definitely give her a ring.

Jessica Biel returns to Los Angeles as she leaves the airport on Saturday (September 26).

In January, the 27-year-old actress will join singer Lupe Fiasco for Summit on the Summit, a climb to the highest point in Africa, Mount Kilimanjaro.

The trek is organized by singer-producer Kenna to raise awareness of the billions of people who don’t have access to clean water.

“This is a basic human necessity that needs to be addressed now,” Jessica said. “[I want] to help any way I can in order to raise awareness toward the life-threatening clean water crisis happening not only in Africa but around the world.”

Still no word if boyfriend Justin Timberlake will be joining her on the climb.

10+ pictures inside of Jessica Biel returning to Los Angeles…

Jessica Biel’s “Cousin It” look is her best yet – Hollywood Tuna

KFed’s gravy boat holder is a paparazzi target now (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

Amanda Seyfried giving her sexiest fartface in GQ – Egotastic!

If the pandas die, our hearts will die too – Towleroad

Doogie Howser’s former fuck partner (on TV) reunite – Lainey Gossip

Vintage Taylor Lautner…from a year ago – Popsugar

9021OHdomenow – Just Jared

John Travolta admits his son was autistic. In other news, Tommy Girl was spotted removing a giant box labeled “Johnny’s toys” from his dungeon – Socialite Life

I’d hit all of them – Cityrag

Well, it is a known fact that stoners have trouble standing upright by themselves – SOW

Single White Female with a baby – ICYDK

Kristin Cavacacaorwhatever should get 4 life sentences without parole for creating Twit & Twat – I’m Not Obsessed

Blohan picks up a Pussycat Dolls’ sloppy seconds - Celebitchy

Miss Cleo is now Kerry Katona’s therapist – Holy Moly!

Yup, Kate Moss is still drunk – Hollywood Rag

I approve of this if they change the name to SEXXX-Factor and showcase Simon Cowell’s titty twitching skills for the entire hour – Popeater

We don’t believe it, but we would support it if it were true!

The Brits are reporting that Justin Timberlake has been getting awfully close to Rihanna as of late. While in New York, the two have been seen sneaking around and trying to conceal their secret love affair from the public (and Timberpuss’ girlfriend, Jessica Biel).

A source says that it will only be a matter of time before JT dumps Jessica and moves on, as the source suggests Justin is “really into” Rihanna.

We’re also told that a recent blind item in the New York Daily News about a female singer giving a male singer a “private” lapdance may have in fact been Rihanna with Justin!

JUICY… but unlikely!

Justin is a little too pussy-whipped for that kind of behavior and Rihanna seems more about focusing on herself.

But, again, we wouldn’t object if it did turn out to be true. They would be cute together. AND THINK OF THE MUSIC!!!

What do U think?

[Image via WENN.]

Jessica Biel walks her dog on a windy day in Beverly Hills on Tuesday (September 22).

The 27-year-old actress has been slated to play power attorney Kathleen Zellner in the upcoming film, Privileged Information, a retelling of the Larry Eyler case, NBC reports. Eyler went to prison for one murder he said he didn’t commit but confessed to Zellner to committing 21 others. Zellner kept Eyler’s secret for 18 months until he died of AIDS.

Jessica also recently signed up to join the the movie adaptation of the A-Team.

Jessica Biel grabs lunch with a mystery male at Kitchen 24 restaurant in West Hollywood on Friday (September 18).

The 27-year-old actress is in final talks to join the big-screen adaptation of A-Team, opposite Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper and Quinton “Rampage” Jackson. Joe Carnahan is directing with Ridley Scott producing.

According to Variety, Biel will play the ex-love of Bradley’s character “Faceman,” the general pursuing the team.

• Charlize Theron talks equal rights
• Remembering Mary Travers…
• Selena Gomez takes home an ALMA
• Madonna goes to see A Steady Rain
• Natalie Portman is pretty in pink
• Gwen and Gavin do lunch
• Alessandra Ambrosio is golden and gorgeous
• Miranda Kerr wraps up Fashion Week fun
• Regis and Kelly dodge flying pies
• Jessica Biel is joining the A-Team

It appears that District 9 star Sharlto Copley is in talks to play “Howling Mad” Murdock in the big-screen version of The A-Team. Jessica Biel is also in talks to play an army general pursing the covert team, which is a nice change of pace considering that the token female character of Amy in the original series didn’t seem to do much (so much so that her character was eliminated late in the series and nobody noticed).

If the talks are successful, Copley will join UFC star “Rampage” Jackson, Liam Neeson and Bradley Cooper as the other members of the team. Biel may join the team as well as it’s been revealed that she is a former romantic partner of Cooper’s “Face” character. If her first name is Amy, that would clinch it.

The movie cast is sounding pretty good. Hopefully there can be cameos by the surviving original television actors. However, if the movie wanted to truly capture the spirit of the original television show, then ten thousand bullets will be fired and nobody will die.

You can watch full episodes of the original television show on SlashControl.

Filed under: TV on the Bigscreen, OpEd, Casting, Reality-Free

Permalink | Email this | | Comments