Martha Stewart’s all-internet-geek show was a clash of cultures just as we predicted. Here’s a clip of the domestic media diva refusing former Valleywag Nick Douglas‘ entreaties to share a little backstage color. Stewart, you see, fears her guests.

Heavens knows what they would think if Stewart just transmitted their intimate off-camera comments to the entire world. The likes of Snoop Dogg might not trust her with their deepest secrets anymore. No, better to keep the Martha Stewart Twitter an occult bible of hellish fire pits opening on the surface of the Earth. Douglas can keep hawking TwitterWit, his printed collection of amusing tweets; Stewart seems more likely to buy — or publish — something along the lines of TwitterWoe.

Elizabeth Taylor has to go into the hospital to get her heart fixed, and has asked everyone to send her good thought balloons while she’s in there. Elizabeth told everyone on her Twitter before those pesky papers got a hold of the info first. Elizabeth wrote:

“Dear Friends, I would like to let you know before it gets in the papers that I am going into the hospital to have a procedure on my heart. It’s very new and involves repairing my leaky valve using a clip device, without open heart surgery, so that my heart will function better. Any prayers you happen to have lying around I would dearly appreciate. I’ll let you know when it’s all over. Love you, Elizabeth.“

So check under your bed, seat cushions and panty drawer for prayers (or nice thoughts) to send to Elizabeth.

POSITIVE THOUGHTS PEOPLE! We all know she will be fine.

Source: HBIC’s Twitter

Jon-Barrett Ingels was fired as a waiter thanks in large part to Jane Smith. The co-star of HBO’s Hung couldn’t pay her check, then failed to tip when she did. The waiter complained on Twitter; Smith complained to his boss.

Ingles, reports the Los Angeles Times, was then fired. But Adams can’t take all the blame: Ingels had to know it was coming. If you’re going to tweet about which musician didn’t wear a bra in your restaurant (Ali Harter), which Office star was hungover (BJ Novak) in your restaurant and which actress looked hot (Tori Spelling) in your restaurant, you probably aren’t long for that restaurant. Especially if it’s located in Beverly Hills.

Poor bb!

Kelly Osbourne took to her Twitter to show off her painful burns caused by a body spray.

That sure does look like it hurts.

But on the upside, Kelly, your new haircolor and ‘do are lovely! We like it a lot!

Feel better!

P.S. CLICK HERE to “follow” Perez on Twitter.

Actor Stephen Fry, the Oprah Winfrey of British Twitterers, accidentally tweeted his personal email address and is reportedly besieged with unsolicited e-mails. Oh, hell’s teeth. Arse, poo and widdle!

Be careful what you twit for, because your 140 characters could land you in the slammer. Just ask Elliot Madison.

Madison, a 41-year old self-described anarchist, attended the recent G-20 protests in Pittsburgh and, like a good 21st century rabble-rouser, used Twitter to direct his comrades around the mayhem.

Coppers didn’t like that so much, so now they’ve arrested him for hindering apprehension or prosecution, criminal use of a communication facility and possession of instruments of crime, which we can only imagine means the police radio found in hit Pittsburgh hotel room, and not Twitter, which is everyone’s.

Investigators are taking this thing super seriously: they raided Madison’s Queens apartment and removed antiquated items, like “newspapers,” an “address book,” whatever that is, and a picture of Lenin. Anarchists are so predictable.

“Greek” fans and local LA folks!

If you can make it to The Viper Room in Los Angeles before 8:00PM, be sure to check out Scott Michael Foster with Siren’s Eye. According to The Viper Room’s website, Siren’s Eye is slated to begin their set at 8:00PM. Tickets are also available at TicketWeb.

Source: The Viper Room website and VR’s Twitter

Damn, I didn’t even know those things still existed. A reader emails us with a tip about T-Mobile’s Sidekick service being down. Twitter is up in arms! A certain blogger-cum-brand is stirring up chaos! What to do?!

Alternate headline: T-Mobile’s Sidekick Service FAIL Outage Affects Thousands Of…Sidekick Users. Because, honestly, who uses these things? Sidekick owners, that’s who!

Our tipster exhaustively writes in:

There is a media blackout on this!! Microsoft bought danger, then fired a bunch of those folks. I don’t know if it’s related but we (every sidekick data user in the country) has been without our internet, IM, mms, facebook and twitter. T-mobile is a trending topic on twitter because of this!

T-moible keeps saying it’ll be fixed “soon” But this is day 3!! Help spread the word! we are desperate! You can’t just buy a company and forget about legacy customers. If this were the iPhone, there’d be bodies in the streets.

I don’t think it’s a “media blackout” issue so much as it is a “people still use Sidekicks?” issue, but sure! “Sidekick shit” and “Sidekick fuck” turned up a bunch of awesome results on Twitter. Biz Stone, be proud. Another landmark for you:

BRO. BRO. I TOTALLY FEEL UR PAIN. It absolutely sucks that T-Mobile duped you for three days of service, and that they didn’t really give you much of an update until today.

T-Mobile and Danger/Microsoft continue to urgently work to restore impacted services to Sidekick, and deliver them to our customers as quickly as possible. Following is a status update for our valued customers: Web browsing was restored Saturday afternoon, and the teams have been working through the night since the disruption started to enable additional functions such as IM, social networking applications and email as quickly as possible.

While we anticipate a significant portion of data services to be restored by Monday, some richer data services may lag. We sincerely apologize for the inconvenience, and appreciate your patience as we work hard with Danger/Microsoft to resolve this issue. We will continue to keep you updated as we have news to share. Thank you.

Heh. CAN HAZ UR MYSPACE BACK SIDEKICK USURS. Of course, T-Mobile’s favorite user is throwing a bitchfit:

George Gombossy, look out. Nice of you to be a consumer advocate and all, Perez, but a bunch of people are already going to be laid off at T-Mobile due to their impending merger with Orange, and you know, the economy’s tough. It’s not their fault your Sidekick isn’t working! It’s corporate’s! The stock goes down, and those people have an even worse chance of being employed. Think of the kids, Mario.

Perez Hilton: making the world shittier since always. Also: who has a Sidekick? Seriously.